Separation Anxiety and possible Abandonment Issues.

My little trip was quite enjoyable.  Chris showed up with his two daughters, Shannon looked lovely in her graduation dress, Tigger and I had lots of cuddles and the rental car was a dream come true.

I got to Hertz at 10:00 on Wed. morning and they handed me the "key" to a magnificent, 2011 Nissan Altima.  It was like driving a magic cloud.  It handled so beautifully, it was nearly silent when idling, the seats cradled the lower back lovingly, and there was so much leg room I think I could've loaded a dozen people in there.  Going over bumpy roads and bad train tracks was nothing.  I could've gone over a cliff and not felt a thing on impact.  Key-less entry, key-less ignition(which I still wasn't quite used to this morning), gorgeous, gorgeous, GORGEOUS!!!  The best gas mileage I've ever seen on a car, too.  I went 274 miles and used up just a half tank of gas.  And let me tell you, I didn't exactly lollygag on the freeway, either.  I think I did a good 75-80 m.p.h. and the needle on the gauge didn't move.  I wasn't too thrilled when I had to blow $41 for a little over 10 gallons of gas this morning, but that's a small price to pay for driving a vehicle that was obviously designed by God and built by angels.

Chris, the 4 kids and I bummed around a lot.  On Wed. afternoon, he and I hit Goodwill to browse.  I found a set of 16 very nice glasses and a matching pitcher, plus a lovely sterling silver pin for my mother.  Grand total:   $20 and change.  Wed. evening was graduation.  The middle school orchestra played a couple of pieces and sounded like two cats brawling in the middle of a logging camp.  I believe the piece played was The Screeches and Toots Sonata in D flat.  I think the director may have shot himself afterwards, poor man.

I awoke at 5:30 a.m. yesterday and went like a paper devil the entire time.  Chris and I hit another thrift store, 3 rummage sales and a coffee shop by 10 o'clock, when the girls called us, wanting us to take them to McDonald's.  We ended up going to George Webb(a chain of greasy spoon restaurants in Wisconsin, primarily Milwaukee.  Good food, cheap.  They also serve the best Boston Cream Pie I've ever tasted).  There we met Chris' mom and 2-yr old nephew, whereupon I tried to teach him how to blow bubbles in chocolate milk.  It's never too early to learn basic life skills and you're never too old to blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.  After Webb's, we hit Goodwill again, 5 more rummage sales and another thrift store.  Everyone was exhausted and took naps.  I drove to Cedarburg to nose around.  I got there a little too late for serious shopping, as everything closes up at 5 o'clock on the dot, but I had a nice, leisurely stroll up and down Washington Ave. and took lots of pictures.  I'm glad I went unaccompanied.  It's been a long time since I've gone anywhere special by myself or driven this far alone.  It was good medicine.  It's good to know that I don't need to wait around for anyone.  I'm a different person when traveling and yesterday was like being let out of a cage - I only way I can describe it is with the words "wild elation".

Leaving Cedarburg was a different story.  The last thing I wanted to do was return to my usual life of a crappy, falling-apart car, money worries, man trouble, weight/body issues, limitations, etc.  Having to return the car was the most gut-wrenching of all.  For me, a car is not just a means to get from Point A to Point B.  It's like a magic carpet.  It's possibility.  I love to drive, I love to be out and about.  Most of all, I love the freedom of being out on my own, late at night or early in the morning, driving around, even if it's just to the grocery store.  Nobody to impress, nobody to cater to, nobody to nag me or remind me of my shortcomings.  All I have to do is keep it between the ditches and watch out for deer and speed traps.  I think I am the most genuine me when I drive.  The only other time I'm that real is when I travel or have some kind of adventure, big or small.  I wanted so badly to keep this interlude going.  I suppose it would be safe to say that the separation anxiety and abandonment issues aren't just about having to return my lovely magic carpet(which damn near killed me. I tried to talk the lady at Hertz into letting me trade her my heap of shit for the Altima.  She said no).  They're about the split between what I feel is the real me and the me I was and have gone back to being.  Too bad I didn't get to keep the car in this divorce...

On the bright side, this was a good opportunity and a nice break from the usual b.s.  Not only did I get to rent a car for the first time, but they gave me a car that I've been interested in for some time.  I got to see a dear, dear childhood friend, and goof around with my 4 sweet girls.  I got to bargain hunt.  I got to expose myself to the loveliness and grace of architecture, antiques and nature.  I got to smell the roses, literally.  I got to laugh myself silly. I got to see what's possible if I get knuckle down and get busy.

Gettin' The Hell Outta Dodge!

I'm sooooooo excited!  My 14-year old niece, Shannon, graduates from 8th grade tonight so I've rented a car (mine still needs big repairs) and am going down to the Milwaukee area for the festivities.  I pick up said vehicle at 10 a.m., then I have to dash to Hallmark for a card and to my favorite bagel place, Lewis',  for treats.  Chris, a dear, long-time friend of my brother's and mine will be there with his two girls.  We go out to see them every summer and the 4 ladies and I have developed a tradition, whereby after church on Sunday, the 5 of us pile into the truck whilst the parental units are still chatting with clergy and congregants, to shoot the breeze and snarf down bagels.  This bagel place opened up last Sept. or Oct. and honestly, they sell the best I've ever had.  Last time I went there I had one that had spinach, basil and feta baked into it.  I nearly swooned, it was so good.  I'm hoping that they'll be offering the pepperoni pizza bagels today, or something fruity and lovely.

I'm looking forward to cuddling my brothers 900-lb. cat, Tigger again.  O.k., Tigger isn't 900 lbs. but he's a good 20, and the sweetest creature God ever made.  If I don't pack much I'll have room in my suitcase to bring him home with me.  I wish.  I'd never get away with it.  He's Shanny's.  They've been buddies since she was a baby. See photo above.  He fell in love with her the first time he saw her, so she's his, too.  If I took Tigger home with me, he'd claw me to shreds and she'd beat the hell out of me, and since she's a 1st degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, I wouldn't stand a chance.

Another thing I'm looking forward to is going to Cedarburg tomorrow.  Cedarburg is a sweet little town about 20 miles north of Milwaukee, where the downtown is very Victorian/turn of the century.  Lots of painted ladies up and down Washington St. (the main street)  Wonderful shops abound, selling antiques and crafts.  There is a magnificent jewelry store called Armbruster's, presided over by one Mrs. Armbruster, who has to be the most regal 90-year old I've ever seen.  The shop's wares are astonishingly beautiful.  There's also a wonderful store a block down that is overflowing with perfumes, soaps and the like.  Last time I was there, it carried almost the full line of Casswell Massey and tons of Crabtree and Evelyn, among other delicious things.  My only complaint is that this soap shop took over the quaintest bookstore I'd ever seen, and now Cedarburg has no bookstore.  But, being so close to Milwaukee and its suburbs, it's not like it's that hard to hop on I-43 and get to a Barnes and Noble - besides, the north side of the city has been cleaned up and is really looking rather ritzy.  Now, if they could only do that with the rest of Milwaukee...but I digress.  I haven't been to Cedarburg in 3 years.  I haven't really been out of the whole Green Bay-Fox Cities area much, with the exception of my yearly trip to Chris'.  I'm champing at the bit to get out of here.  And it's going to be so nice to drive a car that doesn't turn my hair gray.  If I can get away with it, I might just run down to Milwaukee as well.  This girl has got to get out.

It's going to be a good couple of days.  And they'll be made even better because the horrible, relentless heat wave we're going through is supposed to end tonight and then it's supposed to get chilly.  I can hardly wait.

Favorite Quotes - to be updated as needed.

I have grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make modern life mysterious or marvellous to us. The commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it…

         

Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1890

          Most people are other people. Their thoughts are some one else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry,   their   passions a quotation. -Oscar Wilde

“When you come to the edge of all the light you have, and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown believe that one of two things will happen. Either there will be something solid for you to stand on or you will be taught how to fly." Patrick Overton - Author, poet, teacher

 “The real voyage of discovery lies not in seeking new lands, but in seeing with new eyes.” -Marcel Proust

 “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, day and night, to make you everybody but yourself—means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight—and never stop fighting.”  -e. e. cummings 

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”  -Albert Einstein  (I absolutely love, love, LOVE this one!) 

“Don't be afraid to be amazing.” -Andy Offutt Irwin

“We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.”-Jawaharlal Nehru

“Our doubts are traitors And makes us lose the good we oft might win By fearing to attempt.”
  -William Shakespeare

"Give 'em an inch and they'll take a foot - and then you won't have a leg to stand on"  -Blackadder

 

Interesting article...

Them That Know Don't Tell...Part Deux

Them That Know Don't Tell And Them That Tell Don't Know...

If, indeed, "Discretion is the better part of Valor", then valor must be an endangered species because discretion seems to have died out around 1999.  The other evening, I had the t.v. on in the background whilst preparing dinner and some "experts" were talking about Paris Hilton.  One of them said, "How can Paris Hilton rehabilitate her image?" and without thinking, I shouted back, "By putting on some panties and getting into a decent university!"  Nothing will give you a dicey reputation or cause people to stop taking you seriously than flashing your unmentionable regions whilst exiting a luxury sedan.  Acting like a horse's hindquarters doesn't pay.  At some point a girl just has to put down the Jack Daniels and controlled substances, put on a pair of Fruit of the Looms and crack open a book.  Personally, I would recommend A Tale of Two Cities or Vanity Fair (by Thackery, not Conde Nast).

I had a bit of a back-and-forth with a favorite cousin last week, concerning the subject of discretion.  It was prompted by one friend's tendency to go into great detail the morning after a hot date and an acquaintance's love for talking and tweeting about her private life with her husband.  I was lamenting this general laxity of society, where people air filthy laundry and kiss (or in some instances copulate) and tell.  So many souls cannot and will not keep their mouths shut anymore.  This dear relative agreed/commiserated with me and went on to say that she found discretion to be most appealing.  She's right.  What is sexier than mystery?  What is sexier than a spring in the step and a twinkle in the eye?  Secrets can be very, very alluring.  Unfortunately, the world does not seem to respect privacy or appreciate any mystery, particularly in humans.  Just because we enjoy great advancements in technology, medicine, communication, etc., doesn't mean everything has to be out in the open.  What happened to the men and women of great mystery and allure?  The Greta Garbos and the Audrey Hepburns?  We need Bogey and Bacall back!  Why does a person have to put their carnality out there?  Why does the world need displays of celebrity sexuality?  And don't tell me it's to sell papers and magazines and to get the box office up, because it's a shoddy excuse.  Personally, I think people sell themselves out and betray their lovers when they kiss, etc., and tell.  Shouldn't a good time be kept between the people having it?  Let people wonder why eyes are twinkling and steps are springy.

And privacy is way too lax.  It's frightening enough that identities are stolen and personal info hacked into and used against us,  but what's even scarier is how so many of us give our privacy away.  I am a dreadfully private person, and don't let this blog or my Twitter page fool you.  There's plenty I don't say and even more that I don't reveal.  The only person in my life who knows that I even have this blog is my dear cousin mentioned in the above paragraph.  And while this is a blog about making my life more exciting and rewarding, and while I am cooking up a few good plans,  I won't tell everything.  Our hearts and minds are our treasure chests and our secrets are our crown jewels.  It's time to put the locks back on them.

Tweet This!

Ok, I'm on Twitter now.  Lily B is the name.  @LovelyMissLily is the profile name or whatever.https://twitter.com/#!/LovelyMissLily  That ought to do it.