I have to say that I am non-plussed. But, it's a pretty safe bet that the people who claim that YOU are crazy, are actually pretty damn nutty themselves. And probably not in a good way.
My aunt died on July 23. It was and wasn't surprising. She'd had some pretty big heart issues for at least 25 years and then about a month ago she had a stroke. Not a big one but with strokes, you don't need to have a big one in order for things to go ass-over-teakettle.
I did not attend the funeral. Before you have me tarred and feathered as a cold bitch, let me say that the side of the family on which this death occurred, is not easy to deal with, but I'm not going to go into the whys and wherefores tonight. Suffice it to say, I prefer to give them a very wide berth. I do, however, have to see a couple of these relatives (an aunt and her daughter, my cousin "Violet") on a fairly regular basis and this is where the trouble starts.
"Violet" is anything but shrinking. She says what she wants, when she wants and to whom she wants. I think an angry, pitchfork-wielding mob would've gone after her long ago, with torches blazing, if it weren't for the fact that, deep down, I think Vi does mean well. It's just that damn big mouth of hers! If she'd nail it shut once in a while, mind her own damn business and get it through her head that her you-know-what does smell, she'd be o.k., and I wouldn't want to lobotomize her.
For some time Vi has been operating under the misapprehension that I am manic-depressive. I have no clue where she got this idea. Well, maybe I do a little. Her ex-husband struggles with Bi-Polar Disorder. He did not feel as though he needed treatment and it messed up their marriage. After the divorce and subsequent custody battle bullshit, she and their daughter went in for a spot of counseling, which is good. Things were somewhat acrimonious, particularly after the ex remarried, and it was good that Vi and her daughter got some things off their chests.
However, Vi seems to think that a few sessions on the couch means that she's a reincarnation of Freud and fit to analyze/diagnose the entire world, particularly me. She took it upon herself to hunt up shrinks and mental health resource information and has been after my mother to pass the info on to me. Mom, bless her heart, has refused point-blank on a number of occasions. I've known for a while that Vi has been questioning my mental hygiene (which is just fine, thank you very much) and for the most part, it amused me. But at Aunt B's funeral, it seems Vi really ran her mouth about me. She cornered my mother again, she accosted my brother and, since she was helping the other cousins with their mother's funeral, she brought it up to them.
A good friend of the family is a counselor. He has his Ph.D and has helped tons of people. In his hometown back east, he was the person other shrinks would call to talk people out of suicide. About 4 years ago, I was going through an unpleasant situation and was somewhat anxious about it and my ability to handle things properly. I talked to him a couple of times and we resolved the situation. Things have been good since then. It was as simple as that. Mom happened to tell D at Christmastime about Vi's opinions and D was angry. His words, verbatim, were "THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL LILY IS MANIC-DEPRESSIVE!" I just wish he could convince Vi.
I'm torn. In one way, I do appreciate her concern, erroneous though it is. It's nice to know that someone on that side of the family does give a damn. But I do not appreciate her presumption nor do I care for her big mouth and the way she sticks her nose in where it does not belong. I'm not sure if I should say something to her, ask her to cease and desist, or if I should just let it pass. I know I'm just fine. My family and friends and acquaintances know that I'm fine. Do I tell her to knock it off or just go about my business and let her be the one with pie on her face?
Honestly, I'm amazed that nobody else has torn her a new one yet. She's overstepped her bounds a number of times over the years and I've been the one to tell her off. The only other person who ever lambasted her was a former co-worker. I don't understand her. She does a lot for many people but at the same time, she's so freakin' difficult. She badmouths and gossips about the people she helps. She's not exactly grateful to the people who help her. The dichotomy between Angel of Mercy and Snotty Bitch really messes with my head. My brother claims she has an attitude of noblesse oblige.
Whether it's noblesse oblige or just a crappy attitude, I think a wider berth may be needed.
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