1. For the past year and a half, I'd been all but standing on my head, trying to get a certain gentleman to recognize and acknowledge my existence, to no avail.
2. A number of people who consider themselves my friends and loved ones, had been alternately ignoring, dismissing or taking advantage of me, still of the opinion that I was the same dipshit today that I was at 13.
3. The certain gentleman notwithstanding, I realized that I am invisible, PERIOD. To everybody.
It was devastating. First, I became catatonic with despair. Then, I progressed to rage. Finally, I concluded that I needed to get a life. So, that's where this blog comes in. I have decided to get a life. At first, I thought I'd do it for revenge. Sort of an I'll-show-the-bastards, middle finger in the air-type of thing. However, we all know that that attitude shows no one. The bastards don't care one way or another. Therefore, I am doing this for me. I want to see what kind of a life I can create for myself. I want to see if I can do it. For too many years I have allowed the unkindness of others to eat me alive. No more. I cannot take another minute. So, I am going to persue the things I love (art, literature, travel, music, HOCKEY), see what I can learn along the way, and give an accurate report. I hope that my experiences will help others who are feeling like hell. I love the underdog and I want to see all the underdogs in the world triumph.
I'm not waiting around for the Certain Gentleman to figure out that I draw breath. I'm not waiting around for family/friends anymore, either. There's a lot I want to do. There's a lot I need to do. Fingers crossed.
Lily
1 comment:
Hi Lily - thanks for following my blog! Where did you find it from? :)
I like your idea for the blog (and I love the design you chose) - I didn't like the "I'll do it for revenge" thing so I was glad you moved on from that feeling; I think doing this for you is a great thing to be doing!
Good luck, and I'm looking forward to reading about your journey :) x
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